LOL. Just reading this an hour too late to help in a moment when my wife was triggered by my "micro-managing (as she puts it, lol)" -- of course, by this point in our relationship, she just goes ahead and validates for herself with some good dramatization of what I sound like to her with added arm-waving and facial expressions without me having to say, "Help me understand what that was like for you." Let's see if I come out alive on the other side of saying that phrase (it's gonna' sound pretentious, but it is an awesome phrase) the next time I foolishly micro-manage things. LOL, again, but with heartfelt gratitude and a smile for your attempts to help us all in love. Appreciate You, Corinne -- : )
Thanks for your comment Christopher. Sounds like you could both use some validation as you are both in this together. She's obviously seeking to be understood in her frustration at being micro-managed, and you could maybe use some validation in your need to micro manage and where that comes from (lack of trust, need to control etc). Also she may feel the need to dramatize with arm-waving etc if she believes she won't be heard or validated by you. Any drama may die down once validation becomes the norm. :)
Thanks, Corinne. Not to worry. We actually had a good chuckle as I shared your essay with my wife along with my response/comment. She did assure me that we already do a form of the validation process after practicing over the last 39 years. Of course, there's always more to learn! This moment also opened a door toward her sharing similar research that we intend to use in helping our son validate and let go of past trauma via ceremonial processes. Thanks again. (PS -- You deserve more followers. Hopefully my "chiming-in" once-in-a-while helps to keep you motivated to continue your work here). : )
LOL. Just reading this an hour too late to help in a moment when my wife was triggered by my "micro-managing (as she puts it, lol)" -- of course, by this point in our relationship, she just goes ahead and validates for herself with some good dramatization of what I sound like to her with added arm-waving and facial expressions without me having to say, "Help me understand what that was like for you." Let's see if I come out alive on the other side of saying that phrase (it's gonna' sound pretentious, but it is an awesome phrase) the next time I foolishly micro-manage things. LOL, again, but with heartfelt gratitude and a smile for your attempts to help us all in love. Appreciate You, Corinne -- : )
Thanks for your comment Christopher. Sounds like you could both use some validation as you are both in this together. She's obviously seeking to be understood in her frustration at being micro-managed, and you could maybe use some validation in your need to micro manage and where that comes from (lack of trust, need to control etc). Also she may feel the need to dramatize with arm-waving etc if she believes she won't be heard or validated by you. Any drama may die down once validation becomes the norm. :)
Thanks, Corinne. Not to worry. We actually had a good chuckle as I shared your essay with my wife along with my response/comment. She did assure me that we already do a form of the validation process after practicing over the last 39 years. Of course, there's always more to learn! This moment also opened a door toward her sharing similar research that we intend to use in helping our son validate and let go of past trauma via ceremonial processes. Thanks again. (PS -- You deserve more followers. Hopefully my "chiming-in" once-in-a-while helps to keep you motivated to continue your work here). : )